Jason Silver

Web Development by CrookedBush.com Inc.

My Journal and Diary

2016

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December

Saturday, December 31st, 2016

New Year’s Eve 2016

Look at us here, at church on New Year’s Eve? What’s wrong with you crazy people?

We’re the few, the called-out ones; we must be a little bit insane to come chant in a chilly church on a night when our neighbours and friends are singing a different type of song.

I’m glad. You’re my family, and you’re a big part of what keeps me going day after day. You bolster my faith. Your presence here encourages me to follow God more faithfully. If it wasn’t for you coming to sing with me, I sometimes wonder if I’d go to church at all? I depend on each of you.

I hope that doesn’t seem like a heavy responsibility. I suspect the same would be true for many of you. If it wasn’t for this service in this village, many of us might struggle to connect with a community of believers.

I thought tonight would be an appropriate time to review why we meet together. I suspect there are many reasons, but these are a few that come to mind.

1. We meet together to keep the fire burning.

If you’ve ever tried to build a fire, you’ll know that one log on it’s own will not continue to burn. It takes two or three logs, often split into smaller pieces, and crossing each other at different angles for the flames to take hold, and for the warmth to be felt.

In the same way, for the flame of the Holy Spirit to stay burning in our hearts, we too must be broken, we must be split in order to expose the rough parts of our insides-- the grain, if you will. We must intersect each other’s lives, to have our burning souls built into a teepee, or a log cabin-- to be close enough that your fire touches the fuel of my heart. When two or three are gathered together, when their souls are laid bare, then the warmth is felt. The whole town risks combustion!

2. We meet together to encourage one another in the faith.

It’s not easy to be a Christian. Jesus asks us to live life differently than we would if we were left to our own devices. He says we must take up our cross and follow him, we must put our hand to the plow and not look back. Not only are his words hard, but living our a godly faith in an ungodly world is downright daunting!

But when we are together, we can assist one another to carry out the words that Jesus taught. We can help our friends to love those who are hard to love, we can be helped ourselves as we struggle to give to those who take from us. Together we will turn the other cheek when we are hurt.

3. We meet together to share in the feast of the body and blood of our Lord Jesus

This is what makes our little band of believers more than just another social club. We participate in the strangest of rituals. We, who by compulsion constantly consume, are to partake in the flesh of a man we believe to be God. It’s one of the main reasons we assemble together, doing what Jesus himself asked us to do. Whether you believe it to be simply a symbol or a sombre sacrament the participation in the Lord’s Supper is one of the reasons we meet together.

4. We meet together because we must.

I suspect that we can’t help but come and assemble and fellowship, and worship. We’ve had new DNA planted in us, we’re now children of God, members of his family, and there’s a drive in us to not just gather to enjoy one another’s company, but to worship together!

I long for the raising of voices in praise to the almighty God. When I hear people singing at the top of their lungs, not because they’re fighting to be heard, but because they can’t help but exclaim-- well, I’ve found myself strongly emotional when I see that happen.

What is it about watching someone worship God that draws me into that praise myself? How can we explain this but to say it’s a connection of our very souls to our creator?

I will recount the gracious deeds of the Lord, the praiseworthy acts of the Lord, because of all that the Lord has done for us, and the great favour to the house of Israel that he has shown them according to his mercy, according to the abundance of his steadfast love.

For he said, ‘Surely they are my people, children who will not deal falsely’; and he became their saviour in all their distress. It was no messenger or angel but his presence that saved them; in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old.

Amen


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Saturday, December 24th, 2016

The Nativity of Poverty

It’s Christmas! It’s finally here! The day many look forward to for so long! A time to gather and celebrate... To celebrate what? If you don’t have a good relationship with family, and you don’t have money to buy fancy presents or good food, then what’s Christmas for?

Yes, we all know the answer. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ask the question. What is Christmas all about, really?

I think about money way too much. I can’t seem to help myself. I worry about the taxes I have to pay, I stress about filling that oil tank. My mind can be preoccupied with the cost of gasoline, the price of a bag of apples. I wish I had just a little bit more, to go on that vacation, or upgrade my toys. Or to spend on those I love. Who can relate?

If you’ve been to the mall lately, you might have had an experience like our family’s last week. “Buy buy buy! Spend, spend, spend! Upgrade!”

We’re all tired of it, I know. The marketing, the commercialism, the appeal to our bass desires and selfish wants. But it’s the culture we live in! What can we do?

When I think about the way money has become the god of our society, I understand why Jesus talked about it so much. Did you know that he talked about money more than he talked about love? Even if we combine the times he talked about heaven and hell, he still talked more about money! The one thing that got more attention from Jesus was the Kingdom of God. And when he talks about the Kingdom of God along with the topic of money, it’s to say that those with money aren’t likely to find the kingdom!

I’m good at deflecting. It’s not hard for me to say, well, I don’t have a lot of money, so it doesn’t apply to me. Money’s not my god.

Then why is it on my mind so much? “How hard it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

I like to think that Jesus started his ministry much earlier than we typically say. He gathered his disciples at about thirty years old, yes, but I think he was preaching from that manger: he was telling us that he came for the poor.

He was born poor… sleeping in a manger, in a drafty barn, the smell of animals around. If Joseph had a wad of cash in his pocket, he would have been able to find Mary a bed. Money talks.

Instead of gathering judges, and lawyers, and doctors to give him praise, God sent the poorest in society. Shepherds may have a romantic job, sleeping out under the stars, but in reality it was a career for the unskilled. These were not wealthy men.

Jesus taught us that we cannot trust our instincts on a topic. He flips things upside down. If we think wealth is a sign of blessing, Jesus says it’s hampering us from experiencing the kingdom.

He came for the poor, they were his audience, they were his natal court. They were his parents, they were his disciples, they were his first followers. The poor were the focus of many of his words, words that connected being poor with having access to the kingdom of God.

If you’ve got nothing to complain about this Christmas, if you’ve got family and money, and lots of food, and presents under the tree, remember that God has been good to you! You’ve been fortunate, and you’ve been put in a position to bless others! Don’t feel guilty! Thank God! And don’t hold too tightly to what came from him anyway. Consider ways to give it away!

But if you’re hurting, if you are disconnected from those you love, if you’re alone, if you’re poor, if you're without means then I want to tell you that Christmas is for you. It’s not about upgrading! It’s not about malls and glitz and nostalgia. Christmas is about hope in a saviour! Christmas is for celebrating the birth of one who would bring us peace! This is a message for those who need a message.

If your hurting heart needs help and hope, here’s a message for you. This saviour came for the poor, and tonight you are joining the shepherds around that manger!

For a child has been born for us,
a son given to us;
authority rests upon his shoulders;
and he is named
Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
His authority shall grow continually,
and there shall be endless peace
for the throne of David and his kingdom.
He will establish and uphold it
with justice and with righteousness
from this time onwards and for evermore.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this.


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Friday, December 23rd, 2016

Psalm 89

YouTube video cover for

A new friend, who recently became a supporter at Patreon.com asked me to re-record the music for Psalm 89. The first version was done at the piano without a decent microphone, and really sounded pretty horrible.

I'm happy she asked me, and happy with how it turned out. These verses from the Bible are beautiful, and seem like a prophetic indication of Jesus, who is of course from the line of David.

I pray this song helps you to commit these verses to memory, so that the Bible becomes part of your every day thoughts, and your worship stems from the very word of God.

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Thursday, December 15th, 2016

Song Story - How It Happened

YouTube video cover for
🎤 Psalm 144 Song - Blessed Be The Rock

Sometimes I'm surprised by the style and genre of music that seems to jump off the page at me. Is it inspiration? Maybe-- but It's fun to do, and keeps my creative juices flowing.

This Psalm just lent itself to a bluesy style electric guitar (thanks to my friend Sean Patterson for playing!) and a B3 Organ. I wish I had a southern gospel choir to sing along and it would be perfect...

The video started as a neat stock footage of an older film projector. The camera looks straight down the lens of the projector. I added some other Creative Commons footage of arrows, and harps, and sheep, and the universe to help describe the lyrics. I think you'll like the finished effect!

Thanks to my patrons for helping to make this happen! Roger Grant, Connie Fournier, Luni Lin, Erica Smith, Michelle Popovits, John Harvey, Bud

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Saturday, December 10th, 2016

Are You the One, or Not?

John the Baptist is in chains, probably sleeping on a stone floor at night, peering out through a small window, maybe, at life going by. His freedom has been stolen, his future is uncertain. I imagine he was acutely aware of a need of a different kind of saviour than we’re used to thinking of. “Get me out of here! I’m locked away, imprisoned for my preaching, my beliefs, my faith.” (And for calling Herod out on his sins). “Where is this Messiah, who is coming to redeem Israel from these Roman intruders?”

I’m sure he had a lot of time to think. He most certainly would have recalled the heavens opening on that fateful day, when the Holy Spirit descended on Jesus as a dove. I imagine him squinting in the sun, looking up in awe and fear. And from the darkness of his cell, what would those memories become? A hallucination? A fairy tale? Something his mind conjured to taunt him in his shivering desolation? I mean, what more could one ask for as confirmation than a voice from heaven? John heard it with his own ears: “This is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased.”

Remember that Jesus and John were cousins. Distant cousins, maybe, but when Mary was pregnant, she went to stay with John’s mother Elizabeth, and that Elizabeth’s own baby jumped in her womb as she approached. So it’s likely they knew each other. Their families maybe got together on holidays, they may have played together, since they were so close in age. “I really thought Jesus would free us from these Romans! I could sure use freedom right about now.”

And so he ask his followers, his students, to go and find Jesus, and ask him a question: “What’s going on?” Maybe even, “what’s the hold up? Are you the Christ, or aren’t you?”

So as Jesus watched John’s disciples approaching, as he saw the question form on their lips, he would picture John in his mind, wouldn’t he. He’d remember the baby face, perhaps, and maybe even the pimply teen. He could possibly even hear John’s words in his mind as these followers spoke them. “Are you going to save me?”

It’s a question we all ask, even today, two thousand and sixteen years later. “Are you going to save me, Lord? I’m in need. Where are you?”

This weekend is called Gaudete Sunday - the color is pink, not purple, and gaudete means Joy. It’s Latin for rejoice. Joy is a word we throw around a lot at Christmas. Joy to the Lord, Joyful We Adore Thee, Love, Peace and Joy - it is so common that it almost means nothing anymore.

Theologian Henri Nouwen described the difference between joy and happiness. While happiness is dependent on external conditions, joy is "the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing -- sickness, failure, emotional distress, oppression, war, or even death -- can take that love away." Thus joy can be present even in the midst of sadness.

So when John heard his students recount Jesus’ answer, he may not have felt happy at their words. His situation wasn’t going to change. He had misunderstood the type of revolution that Jesus would bring. Jesus said, “Am I the one?”

“Go and tell John what you hear and what you see: the blind can see, the lame can walk, the lepers are healed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have good news brought to them.”

Even though John may have not felt happy at Jesus’ words, they were a cause for great joy. That inner experience of knowing that nothing, not even imprisonment and impending death can take unconditional love away.

I invite you: send your question off to Jesus - ask him if he’s the one, If he will return to save you. Ask him to rescue you even.

From your prison... from your discomfort... your hard stone floors... your chilly nights... your lonely, peering out through a little window at the world walking by. His answer will be the same as it was for John. What do you see? You see God’s work being done all around you, and it will bring you Joy.

James 5:7-10:

Be patient, therefore, beloved, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious crop from the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. You also must be patient. Strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near. Beloved, do not grumble against one another, so that you may not be judged. See, the Judge is standing at the doors! As an example of suffering and patience, beloved, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord.

Amen


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Friday, December 9th, 2016

God Will Protect Us

 Shepherd

Last Sunday afternoon I sat at the big ol’ grand piano to write the next Psalm. It was going to be a toss up between Psalm 18 and 28 and 33, all of which have yet to be completed.

28 was moderate in length, so as I said, I sat at the piano to come up with an idea. But the chord that I played kinda got misplayed, so that instead of A major 7, I played a B over A.

But I just let it ring for a minute, and thought: “that's cool!” So a new melody was born.

The Psalm is a cry out to God, like so many of them. It's also a reminder to oneself that God will protect us... I find it encouraging in my down moments to remember that I am not alone at all! God and the whole fellowship of believers is with me.

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November

Thursday, November 17th, 2016

Some Thoughts

Life is a weird thing. What does it mean to be alive? There's some sort of action-ability applied to carbon and water and other molecules that animates them for a period of time. It's not very long, and it doesn't seem very important.

The strange thing about it all is that I'm aware of the fleeting nature of life, and I want to make something of it - to use the time I have for some important purpose. But what purpose is important? I could bring pleasure and happiness to the others who are experiencing this life thing, perhaps filling some felt need they have like hunger, friendship, or meaning. But if their life is equally transient and meaningless, then is there any point in doing these things for them?

Periodically I get a sense that there's something bigger than myself involved in this process, but I can't be sure if that's delusional or desperate thinking; a way of pacifying myself on this purposeless existence.

I've been busying myself with such things for 47, nearly 48 years. When I consider the immensity of time in which I've been preoccupied with non-imminent-end thought, I feel a little embarrassed. Where have I been these 40 plus years? I guess I can't count the first 20, as I was in someone else's care, or finding my first unaided steps. But the last 28 years have been all mine, and they seem quite meaningless.

I didn't know it at the time, though, and that brings up a really interesting question: should we endeavour to remain ignorant? In other words, was I happier about the meaning of life, when I didn't give it much thought? I think so.

If I come to conclude that there is inherent meaning in life, then I suppose there has to be good in questioning the meaning, and therefore start to move toward more purposeful existence. But if there is no inherent meaning in life, then stopping to consider if there is, will elucidate the haunting emptiness of it all, and can make what should probably be a pleasurable time here on earth end up as difficult and depressing.

And that word has come up again: pleasure. Since life is so short, why do we spend any time doing things which are not pleasurable? I don't mean we shouldn't work, as work is a kind of pleasure. I don't mean we shouldn't cry, because crying itself is even a kind of pleasure in appreciation of whatever you're mourning. But why should we preoccupy ourselves with pain? Stress? Anger? Jealousy?

This sounds suspiciously like the Biblical book of Ecclesiastes.

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October

Friday, October 28th, 2016

A Hike with the Kids

 Victory

I went for a hike with three of my children - we went to Gould Lake Conservation Area, and I took my wife's cool phone, with the amazing camera! The footage I used for this lyric video was taken along the lake, where we stopped to eat our apples and drink from our water bottles.

I removed the audio track of the video, but in it my daughter Grace asks me about the meaning of one of my videos... I love it that my kids are intelligent, thinking people!

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September

Thursday, September 29th, 2016

There Is No God

 There Is No God

The title is a bit of a “teaser” - obviously, I believe that there IS a god. Just as this psalmist claims, it strikes me as quite foolish to assert there is no god.

It's interesting, because I've been speaking to a new friend recently, who is very interested in philosophy. We've been speaking about religion and faith, and he claimed to have once been an ardent atheist, moved on to agnostic, and presently sees himself as a pantheist. He's on a journey, and though I didn't say so to him, I wouldn't be surprised to see his faith eventually lead him to Jesus.

While I understand why people choose atheism as an approach to life, it seems so arrogant to me. Just as one may claim it's impossible to know if there is a god, I would argue it is equally impossible to know if there is not a God. Agnostic seems a much more rational approach to theism. It's humble, it's not antagonistic.

Let's be honest here: we believe that even faith is a gift given by God. He reveals himself to us in his own time. Let's pray for our antagonistic, atheist, and agnostic friends that God will give them faith.

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Thursday, September 29th, 2016

Smashing WHAT Against the Rocks?

 Rivers of Babylon

Boney M has made this psalm famous, so many people know the title “By the Rivers of Babylon,” even if they don't realize that it's a lyric taken from Psalm 137.

I've tried to do what I always do; to faithfully stick to the original words of the ancient Psalm, even if the words seem awkward to sing, violent, “unchristian,” or generally inappropriate. I think it's more important to stick to the original intent of the lyricist / psalmist, and try to understand where they were coming from than it is to be politically correct and lose the original intent.

These words mean a lot to me because I'm a musician, and I've found myself in a type of captivity or exile.

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Thursday, September 1st, 2016

The Crumbling Foundations

 Foundations

It was about 1914.

My grandfather, Earl Abrams, was six months old when his father was killed in the old Lacey mine, north of Sydenham. His mother moved in with her brother and sister, but died shortly thereafter, from the Spanish Influenza of 1918. He and his sister were now alone in this world.

This video is of that property.

There's not much to see-- the structure that is still standing is of the hen-house. In the sixties, the house burned to the ground with my grandfather's aunt still inside. She had left a note in the mailbox that the house was on fire, and for the post-man to send help.

We are such frail and temporary creatures. We lay foundations, only to have them be destroyed. And God, in his holy temple sees all of humankind, and the upright will someday see his face.

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August

Saturday, August 27th, 2016

Sounds Like

 Sing Aloud to God Our Strength

As I do these songs each week, one of the challenges is to keep it sounding fresh, and though nearly exactly like “I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For,” it's a different, fresher style for me.

My family were listening to U2's top songs recently, and Joanne said, “You need to do a style like U2.” So here it is!

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July

Saturday, July 9th, 2016

Bluegrass Psalms

 They Belong To You

This psalm is a little different in style- kind of a bluegrass thing going on.

My wife is singing harmony with me, and this is the first time I tried playing fiddle on a recording - I know it's pretty terrible, but I don't know any fiddle players available on short notice.

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April

Monday, April 4th, 2016

Quick Morning Prayer

Last week was a week from hell. Between threats from Getty Images, and paying the government tax bills, and Duane's email not working (and Ted's), and so many other minor yet oppressive problems--it took all of my strength, and I'm sure more of God's strength than I realize to survive it.

God, thank you for your provision. So much of my daily anxiety is about your ability to provide for me, but that's ridiculous, I know. You are a loving, generous father who gives good gifts to his children.

I pray my dear Father, that you will help me to find time / make time to record some music for you today. I know it's a big source of fulfillment for me, and it's important I take the time to do it.

Give me more faith, help me to trust in you. Pour out your spirit on me, and make me the kind of man that I want to be. Help me to be more like Jesus.

Amen.

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March

Wednesday, March 16th, 2016

Stressful Day

Yesterday was a stressful day--today kind of too.

Money is always the point of stress. I kind of hate living in this society that depends so much on the exchange of goods. Isn't there more to life than swapping? I do this for you, you pay me that. You do this for me, I pay you that.

I get it--if it wasn't for this approach, most of my time would be just finding food or defending my stuff. But it's got so huge; with big houses, and lots of toys, trips all over the world, fancy food from other countries; I'd love to have a shot at just living and surviving. :-/

Since taking this part time job, I feel like so much of my life is out of control. I have no time to write and record music, I maybe waste too much time though, like with these three laptops I bought for 50 bucks. I should have just said "too bad" when Rosie broke her tablet, and left it at that.

Well, three laptops for 50 bucks is still a deal, even if I only get one out of it-- mom might be able to use the keys from the IBM for her keyboard, and there's an extra power pack too. LOL

I'm trying Lubuntu on the Dell laptop now- just rebooting. After a lot of headaches with the last Ubuntu installation and the stupid wireless card on this machine, I'm crossing my fingers that it will all work.

God, you are good, and you are always providing. Help me to enjoy the time I have left on this earth.

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Thursday, March 3rd, 2016

Fasting, Starving

Ugh, I'm fasting today and I'm hungry. I should be praying... Though last night I couldn't sleep and prayed enough to last me a week! Lol, not really, I shouldn't say that.

I've been praying for Bob Fisher, it's so upsetting how sick he's been.I don't know how Anne does it.

I've felt quite stressed since taking on this job at Sentry. I don't have the time I used to for writing and recording songs and whatnot. I'm stressed too about the tax season being here, and not having any money to post the #%&$$ tax. It seems wrong how the government taxes us so high. I really don't understand how the rest of the world, at least Canada, survives financially! Can I just say "f*&% them" and ignore the amounts? I guess some people do that!

I pray Lord that you will give me greater faith and patience to live in your time line.

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February

Wednesday, February 24th, 2016

Counterpoint

 O God, You Are My God

I am really happy with this song ... not necessarily my performance of it, which I'm never completely satisfied with for any song, but I like the style of song where there's a hooky piano part, and a different melody for the vocal line. It's just pretty to me, I guess.

I hope that it's also worshipful and a blessing for you!

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Thursday, February 18th, 2016

Update From Moi

Too long has passed since I wrote. I think a point form will be easier.

What's new?

- I work for Sentry now
- We're in Lent
- I also accepted a job at the Christian Missionary Alliance
- I quite playing organ in Westport -- too long to drive for what I'm being paid
- We had a giant snow storm on Tuesday
- Monday was Family day, I took everyone (including Lucas and Soreida) out for breakfast
- I finally watched that cool Russian monk movie with Giuseppe last night
- Joanne has some sort of growth / tumour inside her uterus - so far the medication isn't working at shrinking them.
- Seth has been unusually moody lately. I think he's getting into puberty.
- I made a really nice pipe and gave it to Melanie. Kind of regret giving them away, but why just collect them? I'm so friggin' selfish.
- I'm fasting Thursdays and Fridays through lent.
- I wrote a really nice Psalm-song this week, for next. I think it's 62? Beautiful piano part I think. I hope it records well

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Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016

Thank You, Lord

Thanks for all the work Lord!

It's kind of crazy, between this new Prayer Walking app, which I'm developing for the Christian Mission Alliance church, Sentry (my new job, started yesterday!), RebelNoise (John's son is recovering, John came back), and whatever else-- I feel swamped again. Ugh, hardly time to work on the Psalms!

But I'm trying to just relax, enjoy having lots to do, not worrying about getting behind or having everything done now.

You are a good God, and I worship you.

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January

Saturday, January 23rd, 2016

Some Good News, Some Sad News

So, I got a job yesterday! It's part-time, 20 hours a week (only for $25 an hour though. :-/)

So it's undervaluing me, but the good thing is that I can likely work really fast, and do the work in less than 20 hours, and I still get paid $500 a week. I think it should really help when I combine the hosting, the music lessons, the summer (yay!), and other income sources.

I thank you Lord for your great mercy and kindness.

Last night we went to Sandi's and Andre's for supper, and Giuseppe was supposed to come but didn't because he was driving to his mom's to help with a family emergency.

As it turned out, he didn't go, and came over to our house after we got back last night, and wept on our couch. We prayed with him, and talked to him for a while. Poor guy. It's at moments like this that I see his youth, and yet, he had some wise things to say. I feel for him, and the situation of his family, and his brother who has been struggling so much.

Lord, please help them. Help the brother I pray.

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