My Journal and Diary
2025
March
Friday, March 14th, 2025
Lenten Sacrifice
For Lent this year, I thought I'd try to give up “scrolling” on my phone. My main aim was to decrease X use (formerly Twitter). I really have come to enjoy using X, but I also have noticed that my mood can become quite agitated and even depressed after reading for a little while about the declining state of the world.
We all seem to be more attuned to negative news, and if you aren't careful, you can quickly get caught up in the drama and trauma of our world.
In actuality, I haven't been very good at my anti-scroll-goal. My decision was to limit phone use, so I still read posts on my desktop computer. I also have snuck a few glances in the early morning while Joanne is asleep next to me. (I don't want to make noise getting out of bed and waking her).
I think what I really need to give up—and not just for Lent—is the drive to understand and solve why my music doesn't seem to have a very good reach. I spend quite a bit of time wondering and wishing. I wish that I could make more of a living from putting scripture to music. I wish that more patrons would subscribe, more people would follow my work on X and YouTube, that I would have more listeners on Spotify. I put in a lot of time compared to any monetary return, and I have to remind myself regularly that I'm not doing it for finances.
Rather, I do it because I love it! It's my calling and mission! It gives me a creative outlet which is meaningful and satisfying (as long as I'm not obsessing about results).
If you find yourself praying for me, I ask that you will pray that God continues to use my work for His glory, and not mine. Pray that I get it through my thick skull that He is my audience, of One. Pray that God provides, and that I trust him to do so.
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