My Journal and Diary
2014
March August November DecemberDecember
Wednesday, December 31st, 2014
A Few Items of Praise, and Update
Wow! Three ServiceBuilder purchases today! I am really hoping they're not just kicking the tires, but will actually be active users who stay signed up.
I started to work on the store portion of VillagOfBath.com yesterday. It's funny how I get discouraged (or lose passion, anyway), about that Web site.
Right now I'm sitting at Revelle's, waiting for them to finish our car emission test and oil change. I just had my license and health card renewed at Verona's service Ontario, and when we're done here, I'll have to go back again to get the license plates renewed. It's an expensive day!
Yesterday Joanne took the kids to the YMCA to swim, and for Rosie to use her Orange Julius card.
Sunday, December 28th, 2014
Lovely, Lazy, December Sunday
Today was a nice lazy Sunday. I stayed in bed until around 2 o'clock before getting dressed (!) I worked on my sermon for this weekend... (Giuseppe is away so I'm on for both services). Joanne and I decided to use our movie coupons, so we dressed up a bit and went to see the Hobbit 3.
After that we went to Walmart to get something to fix our leaky front tire on our car, and then to Harvey's for burgers and onion rings.
Our friend Amy is bringing her boyfriend here to visit on their way to Ottawa. Joanne and I are just waiting on the couch for them to arrive, so I thought I'd take this time to write a bit of a daily log.
Last night after the service we went to Beckwith's and soaked in their hot tub. It's so fun just hangout out with friends and enjoying the moment. Thank you, God.
Monday, December 22nd, 2014
Dad's 69th Birthday
So today is my dad's birthday! He's 69 today! I can't believe it.
I'm headed over to his house right now for some cake. My last music student of the day just left.
I got a lot of work done today on biomaterials.ca and on rebelnoise.com. I also started some work for a new fellow that wants me to do a gaming site. So I've got a lot of work to do!
Next on my list is to get some recording done, and to finish making my Christmas presents.
UPDATE: We had a good time at Grampa's party. the Clow kdis were there, we had cake, and he opened presents. It was a lot of fun, without any conflict which can sometimes be a problem. I was impressed with how mature her boys are getting.
Sunday, December 21st, 2014
Christmas Pagaent, and Update
Today I started feeling kind of under-the-weather... I'm sure partly because of the stress that's going on in my life lately. I had a nap late in the afternoon which helped.
I worked on the events and news sections of the Village of Bath website today. I felt a little panicky between that, and the other things that need to be done. There's someone that wants to hire me to do a gaming website as well. He called it "Paramedian" style or something like that.
Todd from Biomaterials.ca wants me to look into what's wrong with his Non-steroidal site's email sending. It's nice to have work coming in, Lord. Thank you.
The rehearsal for the children's Christmas pageant was tonight. The kids did a good job, though I'm a little surprised at how few kids showed up compared to other years... I'm not sure why that would be. This is always a busy season for everybody, I guess.
Whatever happens tomorrow night will be what's supposed to happen so in not going to worry about it. All for God's glory anyway, and he's in control.
Some struggles with the website RebelNoise has me worrying a bit today as well. I guess trying to prioritize work but when push comes to shove, I'm not really wanting to work on it. I've got a real discipline problem.
Anyway, lots going on.
Tuesday, December 16th, 2014
Learning to Trust
The last few days have been momentous. First there was the whole kerfuffle with Bishop Michael and Giuseppe, after the lessons and carols... I got this sense that a conversation had been going on about me behind my back.
Then we backed out of a trip with Jacob and Melanie that we couldn't really afford.
So right now I feel tired and emotional. It's a bit like I've been wrung through a roller, and don't know what to do with these feelings.
I hate letting people down, and putting others in a hard position, but sometimes there's nothing to be done about it. Lord, I give it all to you. Help me to trust you.
November
Tuesday, November 18th, 2014
WordPress Sites, Errands, Accounts
Here I am writing a journal entry. Imagine! It's been too long.
As per usual, I guess the journal entries come along when I need something. It's partly asking God for help, partly getting my thoughts down. The truth is, we've been blessed this year, and I don't think I've had to do a lot of worrying... not that one should ever worry, of course.
Jobs have been coming in fairly steady, and I've been happy with how busy I've been. Right at this point though, and for the last two weeks, it's been deadly slow. I remember this is normal for the fall and early winter. Come January, things will pick up... but I wish I had a way to make it steadier during these cold months.
I'm hating the Wordpress sites I host! I just don't know what to do about it! They get so big, they're always being hacked (well, I don't host the Mississippi Valley one, but it's being hacked!)... I'd like to just tell people no more Wordpress. But everyone thinks that's what they want. :-/
Joanne is overwhelmed lately too. She gave me a call from Kingston earlier: she took Seth to school, and Grace to a doctor appointment, and needed to buy some groceries, drugs, and other things while in the city. It turns out we didn't have any money in the account so we're stuck.
I wish there was a way around this problem. :-/ God, please continue to provide.
Amen
August
Monday, August 11th, 2014
Testing, Testing, Is This Thing On? Is Anybody There?
I decided to finally journal. I've been intentionally ignoring it for months now, because I've been in a depression. I almost said deep depression, but I don't know how deep it is really. But it's kind of bad. There are so many things that have me down, and I guess I apply my typical obsessive personality to it. The cholesterol spot on my eye, the tooth pain, the lack of income, the lack of rain--it's been two months without much rain! I'm losing my faith, I'm losing my hope, I'm tired and sore, and down. No one comes to the church anymore, I can't afford to do the things I've been waiting all winter to do, like get a trailer hitch, fix up the trailer, go camping, paint, fix, do. I don't understand why it's all at once.
It's times like this when all I have is the desire to call out to God and hope that he hears me somewhere. I have friends who are sort of there once in a while. Even the lack of faith of my own son Lucas, gets me down. I have so little reason to be happy, I just feel like crying.
Ultimately, this is mostly tied to money. Money would mean I could afford to get my tooth fixed, I could pay off my debt, I could get the hitch done, I could take the kids camping, I could...
Lord help me!
March
Monday, March 31st, 2014
New Furniture, Getting Together with the Laings, Rosie
We had a nice weekend. It wasn't as warm as we wanted, but we warmed things up in other ways.
First, on Saturday morning I took the boys over to dad's place to chip the ice away from his black trailer. We were trying to free it so that we could pick up our new furniture from Di's Decor.
It took a long time, and unfortunately, I cut the wire on the lights in the process; but eventually we got it freed. But dad came out right at that time and said we could probably use Jacob's trailer. Because I was exhausted, and didn't think I could lift the hitch up to dad's van, I took him up on it. We ended up borrowing from Jacob, and Joanne and I went into the city for a late breakfast, a store run, and brought home our new couch and chairs. We also bought a nice chandelier.
Mom and dad came over and dad tried to help me hang the lamp. We finally feel like we have beautiful furniture! It's a high quality too!
Saturday night we had our Crossing worship service, and then Stephen and Michelle Laing came over for drinks and laughs. Giuseppe and the Beckwith's came as well, and we really had an amazing time. I think the Laings fit in really well with us. I hope to get together with them again soon.
Mom came over on Sunday as usual, and I helped her with her computer. Seth and I recorded his version of "Soul Sister," as his application for the LEAP and Challenge programs.
Rose had a major meltdown again today before going to school. I dropped her off at the office doors, and as I drove away she just stood there bawling. I feel really upset about this. I wish that I understood why she hates school so much. She seems so able in school, and her teacher loves her. She seems to have friendships, and I think she's popular. I just don't understand.
I don't have a ton of work on the go, but what I do have I'll try to keep focused on. Now that I'm using the "Breathe Right" strips, I think I'm getting better rest. I feel like I'm better able to concentrate today.
Tuesday, March 25th, 2014
Psalm 23, Doctor Appintment
I went to the doctor this morning because my poo has been yellow lately (sorry, too much info). Wouldn't you know it, today it was brown.
I'm not really sure I like Dr. Aspy. He comes across sort of patronizing or something--but I made the best of it.
I wrote the music for Psalm 23 today, and did it kind of in Enya's style... lots of reverb, big timpani, piano, pads. It came out pretty well, but I'm disappointed with my vocal ability, as usual.
And fun, I've got a headache today. I want to go sleep.
Friday, March 21st, 2014
Pancreas Issues? Psalm 95 Song
My stool has been quite yellow for the last number of days, so I decided to look it up online. Apparently there's a chance of liver or pancreas issues, so I've made an appointment with the doctor. I hope it turns out to be nothing but my dietary changes for lent.
I recorded a new song last night, and am really happy with it: Psalm 95. The video is from time-lapse in the mountains, and it's quite beautiful! I hope that people actually listen to this one. I wish more people knew about my music. I am hoping / (deluded?) that if more people knew about my music, I'd get more listens. I really want to believe that the lack of listens isn't because I am not very good!
Surprise, surprise, work has been a tad-bit slow. I've actually had things to do every day, but I'd like to be busier. I do need to do the PayPal system for Frank, and the RebelNoise thing, and the other Mississippi site, and etc.-- there's work there, but I'm lazy I guess. :-/
Joanne and I are thinking we'll go into the city today to get out of the house.